


A First Time For Everything

by lysscor



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Asexual Tsukishima, Coming Out, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 06:53:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7747510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lysscor/pseuds/lysscor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kissing and crying and keeping secrets: a collection of firsts for Yamaguchi Tadashi & Tsukishima Kei.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A First Time For Everything

**Author's Note:**

> So this is really just a collection of oneshots in no particular order. Some might have links to others, and some may be just in their own universe. I've not entirely decided where I'm going with this, but there definitely will be more chapters - I'm planning on updating once a week. When school starts it might (read: will almost definitely) dwindle to once or twice a month. 
> 
> Anyway. Here's the first of the firsts.

Ever since they were kids, Tadashi has told Tsukki everything. He told him about his crush on their math teacher in eighth grade. He told him about the time he kissed his cousin before he knew they were related. He told him about his childhood dream of being an astronaut, and about that dream changing to a teacher or child psychologist as they grew older. He told him about how much he hates his freckles and that stupid bit of hair that just won’t lay flat no matter what he does. He told him about how inferior he feels, being the only first year on the team who sits on the bench.

Wishes, fears, insecurities, crushes - everything. If no one else knows it, you can bet Tsukishima Kei does. In turn, Tsukki tells Tadashi everything there is to know about him, and lets his friend see a side of him no one else does: the dorky, childish side of him, who wants to be an archaeologist and loves video games and documentaries and gets excited about dinosaur toys and marshmallow strawberries. He lets Tadashi get away with things no one else would be able to - calling him Tsukki, for instance, or tickling him, or not putting up with his bullshit. This bond between them is what Tsukki would call a symbiotic relationship. Tadashi just calls it friendship.

Despite all of this, there’s one thing that not even Tsukki knows. Tadashi is too afraid to tell anyone, even his best friend. Every time he tries to bring it up - and he’s tried many times - his mouth dries up and his heart jumps into his throat and his stomach twists itself into knots. So he’s never told a soul. For three years, he’s been clinging to his secret like a lifeline; guarding it more fiercely than a dragon does its treasure. For three years he’s had this weight on his shoulders, crushing him a little more each day. He’s afraid that if he doesn’t get rid of it soon, there won’t be anything left to crush.

 

It’s a Saturday afternoon when he finally lets it fall.

“Hey… Tsukki?”

“Hmm.”

He doesn’t look up from his book. He’s laying on his back, with his feet up against the wall and his head hanging off the edge of his bed. Tadashi sits beside him, picking anxiously at a loose thread on his sweater. He’s sitting farther from Tsukki than he normally would. Just in case.

“I have something to tell you,” he says. “Something really important.”

Tsukki turns his head, so Tadashi knows that he’s listening fully even though his voice is disinterested when he asks, “What is it?”

_ This is it. Moment of truth. It’s now or never. _ “I’m - I - ” he takes a deep breath to steady his nerves, and closes his eyes. “I think I’m bisexual.”

 

“Oh.”

 

_ Oh.  _ He says nothing else, turning back to his book as though Tadashi just told him it’s going to rain tomorrow and not the biggest damn secret of his life.

What the hell does he mean by  _ oh _ ? Is that  _ oh _ as in “good to know. This changes nothing!” or  _ oh _ as in “oh… okay… that’s weird and now I’m uncomfortable and I don’t think we can be friends anymore but I’m not sure how to tell you that so I’m just going to try my best to convey that with a single syllable”? Would Tsukki do that to him? Surely not… but he still hasn’t spoken. That can’t be a good thing.

The silence is broken only by the sound of Tsukki turning a page. Tadashi’s nerves are fried. His heart is battering away at his rib cage as though trying to break right through. He thinks he’s going to puke it out soon, if it doesn’t smash through his chest first.

Another page turns. It feels like there’s a pile of bricks on top of his lungs, pressing down and making it near impossible to breathe. The silence is closing in on Tadashi; the waiting is strangling him. He wishes Tsukki would say something, say anything, or at least  _ look at him  _ -

“I’m gay.”

Tadashi blinks.

Tsukki turns a page. 

An eternity passes, or maybe it’s just a couple seconds.

“Oh,” says Tadashi.

“Oh,” agrees Tsukki.

For three years Tadashi has been clinging to his secret with white knuckles. For three years it’s been crushing him, strangling him, pulling him apart at the seams. And now it’s gone, and Tadashi thinks he might cry from the relief of feeling lighter than he has in years. He looks at Tsukki, reading his book and looking completely unperturbed save for the slight pink of his cheeks, and Tadashi realizes for the first time that he’s had a secret too, and that he probably feels just as light and relieved as Tadashi does. He wonders how long Tsukki has been clutching his.

He wonders why they didn’t release them sooner.


End file.
